La Caca de la Vaca

My little nephew plays soccer (aka: fútbol) and after a recent match la Unión Polideportiva Plasencia released a cow onto the field in the hopes that she would take a giant numero dos. The economic crisis in Spain has people looking for new and innovative ways to make a little extra cash. The field was divided up into 6,666 plots, each measuring 1 m², by a local surveyor with the help of some fancy GPS equipment. Raffle tickets were sold at 2.50€ a piece. If the cow dropped a deuce in the square corresponding to the number on your ticket, well, it was your lucky day.

Last year the grand prize was 5,000€ which is a pretty sizeable sum in these parts as nearly 80% of the extremeñan workforce makes 1,000€ or less a month. This year the organizers decided to wait until the cow downloaded two brownloads and, as a result, two lucky winners each took home 2,500€.

I heard there was some disappointment this year (I didn’t attend the event myself due to a hangover) as Doña Manolita, the cow who relieved her bowels all over the field last year, couldn’t make it. She was extremely pregnant on the day of the event. Apparently she was a real crowd pleaser last year. When she lost sight of her owner she panicked and crashed through the makeshift barriers around the field. She nearly made it out onto the highway before they managed to calm her down and get her back to the task at hand. I’m not at all surprised that she panicked, as the festivities were accompanied by deafeningly loud music and a massive barbecue. (Nothing like the smell of the burning flesh of one’s fellow bovine companions wafting through the air to fray a poor gal’s nerves.)

In the end, the event is actually for a good cause. After paying out the prizes there was roughly 10,000€ remaining to pay for some much needed repairs for the local sports center.


the lovely Doña Manolita, 2015


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